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Jasna Anicic • Feb 05, 2024

Why is moving such stress?

Moving for me was, and still is, an opportunity for a new life, a new beginning. I like finding the “newness” in some other place, I like the lure and excitement of exploring a new place. Or maybe I see moving as an opportunity to find a new me.


Whatever it is, it's clear to me that the image of moving in my head is idealized, because when the move finally happens, I end up experiencing a whole range of emotions.


It doesn’t matter if you move frequently or almost never, if you're moving to another part of town or to an overseas country; moving is always an intensely emotional experience.


It is even considered one of the biggest stressors in life and experts say that only divorce and the death of a loved one cause greater stress.


That sounds rather grim, doesn’t it?


Why is moving considered to be such an emotional trigger?
 
- with moving comes THE big change; and changes create anxiety. Deep down we all fear unknown.
 
- it can feel like your life is on a temporary pause; you focus all your attention and energy on moving
 
- you can experience decision fatigue, similar to one while choosing the movie on Netflix; but it just involves more stress and money
 
- relocation depression is also real; a sense of overwhelming sadness that could manifest for years
 
Housing and moving are filled with symbolism, the hope for new beginnings, sometimes disappointments, loss, anxiety and fear.
 
There are many tactics to make your next move less anxiety inducing and you can easily find them.
 
Of course, each person has their own reaction to moving. Some may become sentimental, or happy.
 
As for me: I always think about moving.


Psychologists have interesting things to say here:


People who choose to move frequently are likely to be risk takers.

If they moved a lot as children, they may be experiencing what Freudian analysts call “repetition compulsion,” or a Goldilocks complex, always looking for the just the right place.

Some therapists, borrowing a term used in Alcoholics Anonymous, call frequent moving “pulling a geographic,” seeking external changes to change internal problems.


But never move to escape anything, because no matter how much you move, you still take yourself with you.






References:
Cohen, S., Murphy, M. L. M., & Prather, A. A. (2019). Ten Surprising Facts About Stressful Life Events and Disease Risk. Annual review of psychology, 70, 577–597.

 

Kershaw, (2010.) The Psychology of Moving - The New York Times (nytimes.com)

 

 


 

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